Cosplay, main character syndrome, and you.
Harri is back today with another certified annoying girl essay!
Recently, I read an AMAZING personal essay by Mika Robinson called, If everyone’s a main character, who’s the supporting cast? There are plenty of things she wrote about that I couldn’t help but think: this isn’t too far off from the cosplay and nerd communities, with people trying to make these spaces what they aren’t, given how deeply social media has affected their actions. Robinson states, “Respectfully, there’s something so jarring—really, repulsive—about a person whose personality leans too hard into the main character persona. The type of person who keeps their cool on to the point where they’re just boring af to be around. The type of person who is also so focused on self imposed optics that they’ll go as far as to dim the light of others around them to be viewed as the star of the show that no one signed a contract for.”
Robinson’s piece had me thinking about the etiquette, more so the lack thereof, within cosplay communities and nerdy spaces in general. It’s beyond people acting as if they are the coolest person in the room. Then it hit me: so many who enter these spaces think the world revolves around them. I get it, you’re dressed as characters that have unique designs, and you want to have fun.
But can we please act as if we have some damn sense when we go to these events, let alone wanting to be involved in them?
If you’re somewhat familiar with social media lingo within the last two years, you may have seen the phrase “main character syndrome” floating around. What does it mean? According to Cerebral, “Main character syndrome is defined by a self-centered worldview where one views themselves as the primary protagonist in life, which can be harmful when it affects empathy and behavior towards others. It is not an actual mental health diagnosis.” This includes not respecting others in shared spaces, not doing what you are told, and assuming everyone around you is thinking of your feelings. While yes, you are the main character of your own life, you are not the main character of someone else’s life.
Now it’s time for a breakdown of the things cosplayers (not all but many) do that fall into the category of main character syndrome.
The rules.
I have already written an essay about how cosplayers often have no respect for the building they’re in, but to elaborate: so many of them feel as if they are above following the rules. Numerous cosplayers fail to understand that conventions rent the venues; therefore, they must abide by the building’s rules. What the host says goes. It’s not worth arguing with the con staff about rules they must also follow to maintain a good business relationship with the host. Also, you wouldn’t want someone to come into your home and disobey your rules, so why do this to someone else? Please don’t make other people’s jobs are than they already are. Speaking of that………………
The behavior?
The cosplay community is, unfortunately, notorious for bad behavior. Early in 2025, when I conducted a survey to gather information about etiquette in the cosplay community, someone mentioned an Ouran High School Host Club situation: someone broke a vase at the hotel! Literally, how does one do that? Trae Dorn, in their piece, Dear Congoers of America: Please Don’t Trash Con Hotels states, “So Katsucon was held this last weekend in National Harbor, MD, and the Gaylord Resort and Convention Center is a bit worse for wear because of it. Although the actual fire that occurred was not attendee related, most of the damage was caused by the congoers themselves. There’s a post circulating on Facebook detailing a number of issues created by attendees, including broken exit signs, flooding, graffiti, holes punched in doors, and some urine. This isn’t isolated to Katsucon, let’s be clear – I’ve seen things like this happen at cons across the country. This is just a very, very well documented example. And I just have one thing to ask to the congoers responsible for these things: What the f**k is wrong with you?” Hotel staff often dread learning they will have cosplayers in their rooms for the weekend. This is understandable because of how dirty they leave the buildings.
I never thought it was cool to trash a hotel; it’s not much different from leaving your table a hot mess when you go out to eat. Is it that difficult for you all to not pick up after yourself and not break things? These are usually in luxury hotels, by the way! One time I went to Dragoncon and was a tad bit shocked see see how messy the Hilton Atlanta hotel was when the staff had not yet arrived to clean up.
Might get dragged for this, but hear it goes: I’m not shocked AT ALL about the complaints the cosplay community had received about Anime Weekend Atlanta when it was at the Cobb Galleria and the Renaissance Atlanta Waverly Hotel. I am not exactly sure as to why the con is no longer in that location, and I won’t share my assumptions because I don’t want to spread false information. I will say that cosplayers often left this location filthy. I even remember reading a rule stating that people are NOT allowed to bring their speakers and play loud music. And guess what they were doing? Playing loud music through to speakers. It’s literally shit like this that makes me question whether the staff at these locations are being rude or if people are just upset because they can’t do what they want. Sometimes it’s either or, sometimes it’s both.
The recording.
Everyone recording on phones everywhere never used to be as bad until TikTok entered in-person cosplay spaces in 2021 and hasn’t left. There’s nothing wrong with recording yourself at a con; the problem is when you’re not mindful of others. You just can’t record yourself dancing in the middle of the convention floor to film a social media video and expect everyone to stay out of your way. Why? Because people need to get from point A to point B in these locations, they need to walk by. Also, can we not film people without their consent? If you want someone to be in your video, you need to ask first. You don’t own this space.
Gigantic costume props in the artist alley.
Artist alley aisles are pretty small, and it’s often not recommended that if you have big pieces included in your costumes, to take them off before you enter this specific space. Why are you shocked about people bumping into your costume and prop in this little walkthrough area? It’s literally in the way, as the space is already tight enough. I still think of that time I got slapped in the face by someone’s angel wing because of how packed the walkway was. Please be more considerate in tight-nit places at conventions regarding your costume choices.
Volunteering.
Not everything is going to be handed to you. Yeah, you might have a somewhat big following on social media, but that doesn’t guarantee you opportunities at events. You have to reach out to brands, companies, and people if you want to be involved outside of being an attendee.
Here’s a secret: Volunteering is how you get your foot in the door for opportunities related to cosplay. A lot of cosplayers talk about wanting to do more, and volunteering (or working in paid staff positions if they have any) is a great way to get started. No one in the cosplay community is too good to volunteer for an event, let alone host a panel and provide programming to the schedule. Paneling can take you further than people realize.
Having been part of fandom since I was little, I was always aware of how entitled people could be in these environments, but now we have a name for these behaviors. The world does not revolve around you when you enter cosplay spaces. While you may be the main character of your own life, when it comes to being in community with others, you’re a supporting character. There is nothing wrong with that at all; that’s literally how life functions. Communities are supposed to hold each other accountable for their actions, and these factors gotta change in order to make our spaces more welcoming.
Sources.
https://astoldbymika.substack.com/p/main-character-vs-supporting-cas
https://www.resiliencelab.us/thought-lab/main-character-syndrome
https://www.nerdandtie.com/2016/02/16/dear-congoers-of-america-please-dont-trash-con-hotels/
Thank you so much for reading. If you enjoyed this and would like to read more of my writing, please consider purchasing my essay collections! Digital copies are currently on sale on my website harriyannahook.com
Other ways to support my writing.
https://www.patreon.com/nicoleeeojj