I was kicked out of The Waifu House. Here are some details.
Content Warning: This blog post may contain disturbing material. Please read with caution if workplace mistreatment and bigotry upset you.
Edit: Gave it some thought, the owner is @spoiled_brincess on Instagram.
Before I get started, please DO NOT send hate to any of the brands mentioned in this blog post. This is just me speaking my peace. You are allowed to do what you please. I am not here to tell you what you can and can not do and where you should and should not go.
If you have been familiar with my work at the end of 2023, you might have seen that I was part of a community focused on cosplay, gaming, and anime called The Waifu House. While I did make some friends from the group, the overall experience was a mess.
Why am I making this blog post?
I told myself just to be quiet and leave it alone, but there was a statement that said, “Members were kicked out for causing disturbances,” and I would go ahead and let you know that was not the reason why we were not there anymore. When, yes, I was kicked out, but numerous other members had left. I just simply did not say anything, but my silence made it clear where I stood with the community and didn’t want to be a part of it any longer. This is why I did not feel comfortable being here anymore.
Why Did I Join?
I joined because, in 2023, I wanted to be more involved in the nerd community as a whole; I wanted to start going to more in-person events and be able to connect with more cosplayers. I also wanted to get help with the brand just as well. Mind you, because I was not really involved with the overall nerd community, I had no idea that many people were not fans of The Waifu House. I was utterly ignorant of that.
Comments I heard from other people.
I would hear negative comments from people at events and places I would go to about The Waifu House, and when I told them I was a part of it, they would be a bit surprised. When I asked them why, they told me it was because they had heard numerous bad things about the owner. That’s all that was said to me.
Not being able to talk to the owner.
The communication system for The Waifu House was terrible. The group was set up to run like a mafia. We were not allowed to message the owner, and if we had something to tell them, we had to message the captains of The Waifu House. Because of this, communication in this community was minimal, and it affected the information being spread. However, they did not bother to get to know the members. They barely held a conversation with most of us.
Trap Sushi. (Note added at the end)
Trap Sushi is an event hosted by many people within the nerd community in Atlanta. I was told that my job as a part of The Waifu House was to make sure to check on all the women and feminine presenting people at the event to make sure they felt safe and help the entertainment and guests if needed. This was something that I wanted to do because the nerd community has a big issue regarding safety at cosplay events and such; I care deeply about the safety of women and feminine presenting people when they attend events. I also wanted to be more involved in the community as I usually stayed to myself and thought this was a good way to be able to do that. I did not get paid for anything I had to do for Trap Sushi, and their form of payment was getting in for free and getting a free drink. That was not much because I had to put on a Trap Sushi outfit (that I paid for myself), drive myself there, and make sure to check up on all the women and feminine presenting people. I was not there to party; I was there to do a job that I barely got paid for.
There was also an issue at the last Trap Sushi event of 2023 (that did not have to do with The Waifu House), where one of the guests pushed me out of the way, and I didn’t feel comfortable telling because of who the person was, their connections, and their following. People had been drinking that night; they might have been under the influence, so I gave them the benefit of the doubt. I was nervous about how this would make the organization look because I wanted it to grow into something more. But that person knew what my purpose there was, and they still mistreated me.
Update: There is no bad blood between me and Trap Sushi. I talked about this with them along with the other situation, and it turned out there were major miscommunications that were the owner of The Waifu House’s fault. The owner of The Waifu House didn’t do much of anything regarding giving us information about Trap Sushi. Again, this is to blame on the horrible communication system mentioned earlier in this post.
The Transphobia rumors.
.
This is all alleged because I was told this by word of mouth. I went to an event in the summer of 2023 at which The Waifu House was a guest. Mind you, I was not a member at this time. I did not become a member until September 2023. One of the patrons at the event mentioned, “I heard The Waifu House was transphobic,” and that took me by surprise because transphobia is something that I am firmly against, and I have made explicitly clear in my work. I was then told that it was simply just a rumor and wasn’t true. Later on, It was brought to my attention that the owner had made a transphobic comment saying she only wanted “real” women, and by that, she meant women who were assigned female at birth. I believe trans women are real women just as well. Anyone who identifies as a woman is a woman. I did not find out this was true until around the time numerous members left, and I, were kicked out around the end of 2023.
The Swimsuit Situation.
I will not mention the brand's name because I do not want them to get negative attention, and I personally don’t think the brand did anything wrong with this. I was told this brand sent the owner of The Waifu House some swimsuits for the community members to model. This isn’t an issue because small businesses often do this to help their brands grow. The owner allegedly did not let the community members model the swimsuits unless they paid $75 for them. They did not pay for the swimsuits; they got them for free.
My shop situation.
It was brought to my attention that the co-captain organized the photo shoot for my shop and that the owner hours before was very careless about doing their part and showing up. This hurt me because I put so much into my brand overall, and seeing that someone I was working with was acting this way towards it was disheartening.
When it all fell apart (entirely).
It’s not my place to tell what happened with the owner and co-captain. Still, I will say that the owner’s behavior with this made me feel extremely uneasy, especially with the way she spoke about me and the other women part of the community. One of the members asked what was going on with the co-captain, and the owner proceeded to act as if they did nothing wrong in the situation, throwing the co-captain under the bus. This was my last straw, and I became inactive in The Waifu House, which led to my being kicked out. This was also when numerous other members had left the community.
I was on a discord call with a few other ex-members of The Waifu House, and the owner continued to call one of the members, the co-captain. The co-captain got irritated with the harassment, straining their mental health when they continued to call them; they finally picked up the phone. The owner proceeded to talk down about the members of The Waifu House and referred to us as nobodies. They moved to call the members “bitches and hoes” in a derogatory manner; the member that called the owner out on their behavior the owner also said some very degrading things about them and claimed that they “contributed nothing to the community” which was utterly false and uncalled for.
Last month, I made a very vague post about how I was no longer a part of The Waifu House and that if I am doing things, it will all be on my own. I just left it at that time and wish the organization the best. But when it was brought to my attention that I was, and many others were kicked out for being distributive I had to say something. You know what? No. Absolutely not. It's one thing that we silently parted ways; do not act as if that is the reason I am no longer part of this. I did nothing but make this community look good to the public when I was there and YOU knew that.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.