the black nathalie sancoeur.
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Eleven things I have learned since my mom died three years ago.
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Hi everyone. It’s, unfortunately, that time of year again for me. I hope this post helps someone who is struggling with grief right now. Here are some things I wish I had known before I lost my mom that would have prepared me better for when she left this earth. -
Going where I am wanted.
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I used to live by the quote, “If they don't give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair,” because I wanted to be included in things I wasn't a part of that clearly weren't interested in all I do. I wanted to prove that I belonged with them. The best way to network is to try to talk to those with interests similar to yours, right?
Now, about that quote. With the experiences I dealt with within the last two years, I don't want to do that anymore. I am more so following the quote “go where you are wanted” moving forward.
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My irrelevant con parties opinion.
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I often tell people to take what I say with a grain of salt and form their own opinions. Con parties can be fun, but they shouldn’t dominate the entire weekend. By no means do I think it’s wrong for people to attend parties during a con. But as someone who’s been to some parties, I have only enjoyed a few of them. Con parties are overrated. -
I understand Toji too much to hate him.
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When things started to get better for Toji, his wife died. When she died, he was lost again in life and began to make terrible decisions, along with being emotionally unstable. As someone who lost someone I loved with all my heart to death around the time I got into Jujustu Kaisen, this hit too close to home for me. -
This is the only time I'm gonna talk about my mother.
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Before my mother's death, I will say that half of my life was dedicated to taking care of her. She always had issues with her health, and being as young as nine years old was when I first started to care for her. When she died, it was the first time I could truly take care of myself. Going to therapy wasn’t doing much, and you want to know why? Because afterward, when my session was over, I had to take care of her. One of the main things causing me so much distress, and I had no choice. -
How miserable do I have to be before you’re happy.
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While the context of the situation is different than what I’m feeling, the line where Millhouse says, “How miserable do I have to be before you're happy?” sticks with me forever. I continue to ask myself, “Why do you continue to put your well-being at stake for the comfort of others? If you keep doing that, you’ll keep being taken advantage of and have no money in your pocket.” -
Anyone ready for 2023 to GTFO?
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2023 has been a very draining year for many. Let’s go ahead and get the cat out of the bag. Every week, more like every day, it’s something new. Even when I am doing things for fun, I am with the dread of how dark the world is and want to lie down. -
Y'all were not nice to Rubi Rose.
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Content note: This blog post is intended for mature audiences; this is only advised for those 18 and older to read.
Respectability politics has been a trending topic this year because of people's reactions towards celebrities. The main talking point I saw was, “Halle is a Disney princess, and you’re just a s*x worker,” and that’s where all the discourse began to go south for me.
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Amaya Janelle, the other writer of Um, Do Not Call Me Sis.
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For those who don’t know, the new book Um, Do Not Call Me Sis was not only written by me. It was also written by a great friend of mine named Amaya “My My” Janelle -
A letter to someone who hurt me.
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While you left me with all this trauma, there is something: I refuse to feel the way you made me feel about myself ever again. -
Terra Markov and Evie Zamora Mirror Each Other.
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Both of these girls needed a better support system. It’s sad because they both became friends with decent people but ended up betraying them in the end because of their trauma and pain. Evie and Terra both wanted a family; no, they needed one—loneliness for someone that young is detrimental to them. I can attest to that, I went through a period of my teen years where I felt that I had no friends and couldn’t trust anyone.
